Six Months in Kenya…

I was reflecting on being Mr. Mom for the past six months and thought I should jot down a few lessons learned. What I came up with is more of a “life with two little boys” collage but it does give a bit of insight into the magic of learning. We’ve shared most of these before in another media form but never really pondered their significance in the growing up process. Until now that is…..

On Responsibility:

Mommy’s first day back at work and I have done two loads of laundry, washed the dishes, fed the lads, cleaned the kitchen, had my coffee, and it’s just 9:00am. Whew! This is going to be a good day………. 9:02 am I LOST THE BOYS!!!! (they worked together to open the gate and “went for a walk.”) AHHHHH!!!

Michael’s walking!!!! He took 20 steps with no hesitation. Wow! What a beginning. Tim’s life will never be the same again. If he thought he was tired before then look out! 

After getting his diaper changed in a public bathroom, Benjamin saw a perfect stranger coming out of a stall, he looked at her, and said “wash your hands after toilet use, wash with soap and water” (all in an Australian accent). 

A realization… life with a one and two-year old redefines the term “sleeping in” to going to bed at 7pm and then getting 11 hours of sleep before you’re “greeted” at 6am by human alarm clocks.

Mommy can you wash my bum?

*** The classroom had its own joys, but these joys are indescribable. What a long strange trip it’s been. (and I wouldn’t want it any other way)

On Adaptability:

Question: How do you wash dishes when you don’t have water in the kitchen? Answer: Use the bathtub.

While swinging a stick at a bush, “machete, machete, machete!” says Benjamin.  Guess he’s adapting to his surroundings…

Benjamin, time to pick out a book.  “How about I pick my nose.”  Hmmm…

Benjamin what do you think about having a dog as a pet? Would you like that? “How about a pig instead. No. A horse. How about a horse?”

*** I think the bargaining culture has definitely influenced Benjamin. My wife uses Michael to get better bargains while shopping at the local market while Benjamin and I are banished to no-man’s land. I guess the cute factor is still in play for the little guy. Apparently Benjamin and I have lost our appeal. Knowing the culture helps you adapt.

On Relationships:

So Benjamin called a girl and invited her over to play for the first time today, oh [parents cracking up here] – Stacey (elementary principal at WNS), you’re quite the trooper!  Alli, sorry he only wanted Stacey to come… maybe next time??? 

AHHHHH YOU’RE MY RHINO RAFIKI!!!!!!!!!!  I can’t believe I didn’t have you on my suspect list!  And ALL ALONG it was YOU!!!!  Seriously.  [insert light bulb moment here]

PS: are you my rhino rafiki?

If only you were 14 hours BEHIND instead of 14 hours ahead…then these wouldn’t be belated birthday wishes.  I think you guys should move to a new time zone soon.  But, happy birthday anyway!

*** When you care about someone let them know right away. As an aside: I love you Mom. Also, you shouldn’t make your friends (rafiki) wonder if they really are your friends. Communication is key.

On Wonder:

Look Pops! I bit my pretzel and made a letter C. Now I made a letter A. What is it now Pops?

 Baboons, monkey, giraffe, zebra, storks, gazelles, impalas, eland, hartebeest, LIONS, BUFFALO, RHINOS, HIPPO, and so many more – what a morning! — at Nairobi National Park.

How many bites does it take a one year old to devour a cake?  Michael will show you how it’s done!  Happy 1st birthday, little MAN 🙂 It took him two bites and was over before the camera could focus.

There was the most prehistoric looking winged creature on our balcony railing this morning.  we thought the boys would scare it away, but when it saw them looking through the window it actually came closer – perhaps it was looking for a snack… yikes!

Michael finally started babbling this past week – it’s soooooo fun to hear him chatter away and giggle at things.

After 12 years of teaching together we are finally living in a country that speaks English. Who knew we had to move to Africa to do so?

Here Pops this is for you. (I was handed a stick) Michael observed and handed me an imaginary stick.

Look Pops! Michael and I are dancing. (They’re running around in circles flapping their arms much like an albatross that is having trouble taking off, then flopping down on the ground like dying fish only to pop back up again to continue their circular flapping.)

*** Sometimes I think we lose sight of the magical moments of/in living. God’s creation is absolutely marvelous, no matter where you live, and the creation of two little boys, and their discovery process, is humbling. Slowing down to notice it is the trick. I think I should quit typing and join the dance.

On Philosophy:

Neither one of us gets it… how is it that a certain two-year-old of ours can work on a puzzle with so much determination, only to start tearing it apart SECONDS after finishing?!?!?

*** It’s all about the journey.

I’m not buddy. Buddy is the dog. My name is Benjamin.

*** Know who you are.

On Attitude:

So two firsts… first Christmas concert last night where there were guys patrolling the church with AK47s & first baboon (did I mention it was 5 feet tall?) on a campus while I’ve been teaching – never a dull moment around here!

I’ve been a teacher long enough to know that look. It says, “I don’t care what you say. I’m doing it my way.” Ahhh Michael, you may not speak yet but your expression says it all.

This past week included: termites, birds eating termites, bees, baboons, camels, lions, monkeys, and potty training beginnings (yup, pretty sure that last one belongs in the list).  Dare we ask what next week will bring?

We currently have fermented milk straining through a tea towel into a bowl in our fridge – can’t wait for dinner tomorrow!

Our 15 minute drive home from school took us almost three hours. I counted 5 broken down vehicles and 2 accidents, a plethora of wandering animals, and way too many police for my comfort. Ahhh, just another day of driving in Nairobi. You never know what’s going to happen. Everyday is an adventure.

My daily life has not changed one bit but somehow seems more glamorous now!

*** It’s all about perspective.

Trust: In the Hands of God

Yesterday morning before the rest of our apartment even thought about stirring: “Ben-jaaa-minnn… it’s time to take your medicine.” Slight pause–Looking me directly in the eyes he replied, “How ’bout we fly like a duck instead?” I didn’t know what to say and it wasn’t because it was 5:30 in the morning either. He was serious. There is just no way you can say something like that to someone unless you trust them. Trust is such a courageous action. To put one’s confidence in someone or some thing is not always easy. Apparently his confidence in my ability to help him fly like a duck was intact.

We’ve all no doubt seen or participated in trust falls. You know, where some poor soul stands on top of something frighteningly high and summons up the courage to fall backwards into their peers who are eagerly waiting to catch them and prevent their body from fracturing as it hits the ground. Many, like myself, have weighed the options and calculated the risks before taking the plunge while others have simply put complete trust in humankind and plummeted towards safety. The latter is what my youngest son is currently doing to me on a daily basis. He totters up and stands next to me and then arching backwards lets go and falls knowing I will catch him before he hits the floor. A one year old is not very tall so there isn’t a lot of time to catch the little guy. I’m not fond of this game he is playing but he laughs his infectious little laugh and does it again. And so I must live in a constant state of readiness.

New Year’s Day, when the world is thinking about resolutions and how things will be different we learned yet another lesson in trust. Sitting at an outdoor cafe, that’s attached to a small playground which is our reason for going, my wife noticed four girls sitting all alone. It wasn’t that they weren’t with an adult that made them stand out, it was everything about them. Their huddling together, eyes scanning, homemade clothes that didn’t match with the rest of the fashion world, and in general their demeanor screamed out, “I’m not from around here.” At some point the waitress gave them a drink on the house. Another sign that something is not normal about the whole situation. A short while later the oldest girl, age 11, approached my wife on the playground and asked for help.

As time passed and the story unfolded it seemed that while not all of the details were known, what was clear was that the girls were not asking for money but trusting us enough to ask for lasting help. After multiple phone calls to friends and social services, we were advised to take the girls to the local police station.  The child services person believed that the girls had been kidnapped at different times and were being held by someone in a nearby slum.  The person apparently didn’t want them anymore and dropped them off at this shopping area on January 1st.  In the process of us trying to figure out where the closest police station was, not a place we’ve been frequenting since moving to Kenya, three of the girls heard “police” and vanished.  Security guards, now involved, tried to help us find the girls, but they were gone.  Trust just wasn’t there.

However, for Lucy, for whatever reason she trusted us.  She teared up when she heard the plan, but she still trusted us.  “Does the word police scare you?”  “Yes, but maybe it’ll help.”  Trust.  So, after a short drive later with some cookies involved, and a talk with the officer on duty we left Lucy with the police.  Right before leaving, she looked at my wife and asked, “Will you come back for me?”  Heartbreaking.  Gut-wrenching.  What do you say to that eleven year old who at the moment has no one?  “No, but these police officers will help.”  “Okay,” with an attempted courageous look on her face.  Standing on the edge of fear, and blind to the future, trust was still there, somewhere in that little girl.

We found out that Lucy was the 3rd child to be brought to that particular police station on New Years.  One other that we know of was a little boy of 4 or 5 who had been dropped off at our local grocery store.  We must trust that the police officers helped Lucy, the boy, and the other child.  We must trust that somehow the three girls who ran off, Jane, Judy, and Christine, are doing okay.  We must trust that we did the right thing that night.  But most importantly, we TRUST that God always has a plan.  He had a plan for us to meet these girls, and step outside our comfort zone, and have our heartstrings tugged a bit.  He has a plan for all of those kids’ lives.  We must trust that God loves and cares about each one.  Trust.  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11.  While I may not understand at the moment, I, along with Lucy, must TRUST.